An argument broke out in a Mumbai court over the fact if an underwear can hold 2 kilos of heroin.

Narcotics Control Bureau (NCB) officers claimed that they caught a man ‘red-handed’ on January 1, 2006, smuggling 2kg heroin in his underwear pockets. But the court refused to stomach it. 

[…]

When the case came for trial, Kamdar’s lawyer Ayaz Khan demonstrated the impossibility to carry 2 kg heroin in the underwear. Khan also argued that no one can walk a distance of one kilometre, as stated by the prosecution, carrying four 500-gm packets of heroin in his underwear.

This sounds interesting. I had a distinction in ’strength of  materials’ during my engineering days, and would be really interested in examining the underwear. I wonder how the defence lawyer “demonstrated” things in court?

No wonder the accused was acquitted.

The Honourable speaker of the Lok Sabha, Somnath Chatterjee  was so annoyed with British authorities that he called off his UK trip

British authorities conveyed to India that Somanth Chatterjee would be frisked upon arrival at Heathrow - like any aam traveller. Which, the Speaker felt, was an insult to the “high Constitutional office” he holds.

Now, honourable speaker, is it all that an insult to be treated on par with an ordinary citizen of the country. In times like these - when each one of us gets frisked, even if one were entering a mall or a multiplex, how does a simple frisking procedure insult the so-called high constitutional office you hold?

But, highly unlikely he’ll understand.

Had the MPs been frisked during the vote-of-confidence a couple of months ago - the one crore cash wouldn’t be displayed in the Lok Sabha. Right speaker?

A couple of days ago my car’s rearview mirror broke. It didn’t shatter into pieces - but the clamp that hold the mirror simply came off. And what made it worse was the fact that it was the “center” rearview mirror. I can drive very well without the side mirrors, but  without the center piece, there’s too much of a blind spot.

I assume driving without the rearview mirrors is against the law, but I had no other choice. One, replacements for the mirror that broke mirror are pretty hard to find. Not to mention expensive. And I had to drive all across the town for two days - I covered umpteen spare parts shops,  two garages and three authorized service stations - till I found the entire set for Rs.600. In the process, I had to drive through the busiest and the narrowest lanes of the city. In all, I covered over 100 kms  in the most congested of traffic - all the while without a clue on what’s happening behind my back.

It was almost like Tendulkar facing Brett Lee- with one-eye shut. To my credit, for two full days, without a rearview mirror, I neither ran over anyone. Nor got hit by a truck.

Now, that makes me wonder : How many women can manage one full day without a compact mirror in their purses?

DNA reports that the Akal Takht is annoyed with Harbhajan Singh who in a recent episode of Ek Khiladi Ek Haseena danced in a Ravana costume.

…being a Sikh, it was highly objectionable of Harbhajan to wear ‘Tilak’ and act as Ravana and dance publicly, and that these things would never be tolerated.

[..]

The Jathedar said that since Harbhajan comes from a Sikh family he must be aware of its tenets and should never take the customs of the Sikh community for a ride.

Wonder if we can go ahead and burn Bhajji effigies this Dasherra…

Dear Ricky Ponting,

After all your deeds in Sydney last time, you still  expect someone to agree to a ‘catch pact’?

How about a pact with Harbhajan - where he won’t bowl you doosras?

Warm Regards,

Sir Punch

Hmmm.. where did this one come from?  Salman must be going bananas.

A news item says:

The modern beggars in Delhi speak in perfect English accent and ask for some money to buy medicine for their loved-ones. Some get emotionally blackmailed by their polite language and pay them some amount for the medicine and other go little further and pay then full amount and get them medicine they need and leave with the ‘feel good’ factor.

But they are actually victims of these polite beggars. The beggars have tie-up with chemists, after their victim leave the place, beggars go to the chemist , return the medicine and get half the amount of the medicine.

Here we go. We’ve just given call-centre recuriters in Delhi a big lead.

The missus tells me that ashtami is a good day to start this blog. It’s auspicious. In all probability  she has consulted our household Gujarati pandit – who apart from advising us on mahuraths, also gives us valuable tips on the stock market.

So far, neither the mahurats nor the stock market tips have paid any dividends.

Allow me to describe the day.

First, my favourite leather chappal gets stolen. I had bought it for Rs.165 from the Sindhi Shoe Mart. The friendly neighbourhood mongrel,  who one of my neighbours lovingly feeds – slipped through the gate and ran away with one of the chappals. And I am left with half of what I had bought for Rs.165.

Next, just as I was about to launch the blog, there was a huge thunderstorm – quite unusual during this time of October. But, as my wife tells me – probably the Devi has arrived in a boat this year. She is of course wrong. This year the goddess Durga arrives on elephant and departs on an palanquin.

Irrespective of the Godess’ mode of transport, the thunderstorm knocked out my phone line, broadband and electricity. And my wife reminded me that the Goddess is probably angry at me. What that really means is that I have to take her to the Durga Puja pandals that evening.

With no electricity around, we decide to drive to town – to get a glimpse of the mega Durga installation in one of the pandals there. I have a stroll along with hundreds of other 9-days-a-year devotees and come back to see that my second set of chappals missing.

Stolen from a temple? How ridiculous is that? And that too someone ran away with a cheap Rs.140 pair – ignoring so many other pairs that were way too expensive than mine. I was tempted to wear somebody else’ chappals and walk away – but the angry glare of my wife stopped me.

I walked half a kilometer barefoot to the footwear store and bought myself  another cheap pair. All the while people kept looking at my bare feet and probably kept telling themselves –‘ ah, a true devotee.’

So, on an auspicious day – I ended up losing two pairs of chappals. One to a dog. The other to God.

Just another day in my life.

And finally, as electricity and the Internet has been restored, I can finally post this.